GENDER IS OVER
We can’t say it enough: we’re so so sooooooo proud of you for coming out of your shell (pun intended) and we’re so so sooooooo excited to help you give yourself a (virtual) self-love makeover. That being said, transition looks different for everyone, and we want to be very intentional with how we frame it so it doesn’t exclusively reflect our personal transitions or coming out stories.
Identifying as non-binary or gender non-conforming looks different for different people. It can mean transitioning with hormones and getting surgery, not changing your physical appearance at all, and everything in-between. Coming out can be for spiritual or secular reasons, but like everything else, it’s a spectrum and NOT binary (see what we did there?).
But real talk, gender non-conforming identities are vast and beautiful, and you have to do you. For more information about specific transition stuff, check out our TransFeminine or TransMasculine pages. We’re not saying your identities are anything other than how you identify, but simply directing you to a place that might answer your questions if you do want to transition. Again, YOU DON’T HAVE TO TRANSITION TO BE QUEER. Different strokes for different folx. Gender is a performative construct after all, and as RuPaul says, “we’re all born naked and the rest is drag.” For more information about how other queer folx have defined their own gender non-conformity, check out our Gender Non-Conforming tab. It might also be a good place to send your loved-ones if they “don’t get it.”
Regardless, you are beautiful and wonderful, and if we could jump through your computer screen and give you a (consensual) hug, we totally would. Instead, we want to encourage you to take a deep breath and let it out. Take this breath as a chance to let out whatever anxieties you’ve brought to this website and to the transition (if you decide to go that route) process in general. If you’re one of those lucky folx who gets gender dysphoria, don’t worry—we’ve got you covered.
Being a non-binary fairy in a rigid world of boxes and labels can be hard. If you choose to use pronouns that extend beyond the binary, people will probably mess them up—no matter how many cute pronoun pins you have on your Hot Topic backpack. Just know, it’s not you, it’s them, and misgendering happens to binary trans folx too. Your identity is still valid and you are still loved.
It isn’t uncommon for GNC and non-binary folx’s identities to shift and change over time; some gravitate toward more binary transitions, while others explore all kinds of gender defiant planets. It’s all about you and how you experience or don’t experience gender.
Remember that you are perfect the way you are, and that all of the resources on this website are just garnishes for your already perfect self. We hope you’ll approach them from a place of self-love and self-care. Be patient with yourself, and don’t forget that YOU ARE QUEER ENOUGH.
“Some people are born in the mountains, while others are born by the sea. Some people are happy to live in the place they were born, while others must make a journey to reach the climate in which they can flourish and grow. Between the ocean and the mountains is a wild forest. That is where I want to make my home.”Maia Kobabe – GenderQueer